Linger longer…

I’m taking a bathroom break outside my work. Here on the farm we have the choice of a peeing in a dusty outhouse that sees more spiders than humans on a daily basis, or peeing in the field out back. The choice is obvious to me.

As I squat in the unkept summer grass, I’m struck by the vibrancy of life teeming in the field before my eyes. I notice a sense of urgency and that even my breath is shallow.

I stop, taking in a full breath of air, lingering at the top of that inhale, before I let my breath wash back down and through my body. The mind doesn’t want to stop. As if… if i stop going, moving, doing… I’ll miss something; I won’t get somewhere or accomplish some big allusive thing - perhaps that “thing” being my destiny, and I fear I’ll miss it if I don’t do or try hard enough.

I take a moment to bask in the sticky, hot day light. I open my eyes to the vibrant green meadow lands before me, I soften my heart, soften my expression, land here a little more fully. Let me linger just a moment longer I whisper in a prayer; let me savor this thick August sun.

I think about the other phases I may be rushing through, forgetting to stop and soak in the beauty. My current living situation, my relationship status, my work in the world, my maidenhood.

Let me linger just a moment longer, my soul beckons. Let me sit here and savor the moments of now, so that I may be fully here, present with all that arises.